I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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