i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
this is an emotional support booty call
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
