The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
