No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
