he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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