I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
