ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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