He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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