just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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