I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
