your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
