i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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