Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The air taste purple.
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