I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
