It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
