Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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