R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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