? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
