There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
