Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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