That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
