Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
