There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
