There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
