I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
