your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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