You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
