I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize