Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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