Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Naked Twister starts at high noon
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
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