Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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