i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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