Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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