i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
