I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
