in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
