Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
