He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
