sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
