i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
