I just saw a hot homeless man
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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