Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
