Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
