hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
