You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
