If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
