Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
