Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
