Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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