At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
