OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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