so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
