Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
